Lessons Learned

You know those moments in life where u just want to keep smacking yourself to wake up? You think to yourself 'I have to be dreaming, there is know way this just happened'. Then wham! just like that, the wave of guilt comes over you, your heart starts to race, you feel your most recent meal rising up in your throat and then come the tears....the fountains and fountains of tears. Well that just happened....Tonight was supposed to be our night of victory, the night that we took over our "land" if you will and our power! Let me catch u up on the issue. When we arrived at our "mobile manor" we felt as if we had been shoved into this space that had already been taken over by someone who we were told was in an "over flow" spot....not so! This spot was our spot and we were "sharing". SO! It's like a million degrees up here and my girls and i are like a can hot chillies ready to pop sitting in this trailer, so i flip on the ac to cool this mother down when WHAM the power goes out, why? something to do with voltage and amps and things that i don't retain. SO! I walk outside flip the breaker and head back for the door only to get there and WHAM! it goes out again. Now i know i am not a patient person but seriously....SERIOUSLY! SO! I do this walking back and forth thing six more time...SIX MORE TIMES before i get so irritated i call the landlord. In doing so I found out that this gentlemen (by no fault of his own) was indeed in our spot. SO! Long story short he packs up and moves and now we want to move the trailer over to where he was parked so that there will be room for m to play outside. NOW! we get it over there and realize it wont fit, to long, so Dallin pulls it back out and we put it where we previously had it but closer to the power pole....well we got it to close so Dallin goes to pull it forward and move it back over just a bit (and here is the moment) when all of the sudden the trailer comes off the hitch thing on the back of the truck and slams on to the bed....you want to know what happens next? Nothing. There was a moment of disbelief and horror at what just happened. One moment of shock and then the vomit feeling the tears the trying to keep the curse words from coming out as the little pieces of chipped red paint are falling to the ground, and wouldn't you know it, sweet m broke the silence. "momma, papas truck broken". There was no denying it then, out of the mouths of babes, she said it, it was broken. I took emery inside then and made that phone call dreading the words i had to say. Never have i felt so stupid, so ungrateful, so careless as i did in that moment. I cant even imagine what Dallin was feeling. I told my dad what happened, tearfully telling him how sorry i was and that we will do everything in our power to make it right. Thankfully my dad is the man that he is, I still feel awful and will never forgive myself for the accident. I think a lot of the pain I feel is for Dallin because i know that he is kicking himself for that one stupid mistake, the one thing that didn't get checked that should have. I know he feels awful, worse than me and I feel pretty bad. Sometimes things happen, things that really suck, we don't know the reasoning at this moment, but we will. With that said I still feel awful, and could never apologize enough for whats happened. In this moment though i am grateful for my family and the loving and hopefully forgiving:-) people that i know they are. Lesson learned, always lock the thingy in the truck bed. GOT IT!